[Author’s Note: Did I give away the ending with my title again? I did, didn’t I? A few months ago, I wrote a piece in which I defended Tulsi Gabbard from some of the bizarre attacks from the left that were flying against her. This was not an endorsement of Tulsi Gabbard, but rather a defense of what I thought was the truth at the time. I apologize. This is the part where I repent of that earlier sin, and dig a little deeper for you, dear reader.]

A ton of people on the right suddenly have a crush on 2020 candidate Tulsi Gabbard, simply because Hillary Clinton has viciously attacked her. But if there’s one thing that political observers should have learned since 1992, it’s this: Whenever Hillary crawls out of her Spider Hole of Doom to spew her toxic venom on the political landscape, pay attention to who she is attacking.

For instance, when Hillary attacks people on the right, she will go to any length and stoop to any new low necessary to just make stuff up about them. She called in every favor that she could at the CIA, FBI and State Department to make up the Russian collusion hoax against Donald Trump.

Hillary makes things up when she attacks conservatives, but when she attacks opponents on the left, she simply leaks damning truths about them. (See also: Biden, Joe)

When she attacked Barack Obama in the 2008 primaries, she couldn’t find anything damning enough from his past that would bring his campaign down. So she reverted back to her old playbook and made something up about him. For instance, did you know that it wasn’t Donald Trump that started the rumor Barack Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate was fake and that he was, in fact, born in Kenya. And therefore, was ineligible to run against Hillary Clinton in the Democrat primary?

Guess who DID start that rumor. Good ol’ Hillary.

The timing of events often tells you a lot about the narrative. On the night of October 16, Hillary Clinton held a fancy dinner for donors at her Washington, DC home. For $50,000 a plate, you too could have basked in the presence of Darth Hillary while participants pondered the question, “What if Hillary had another shot?”

Reporters from every news outlet in Washington, DC were invited to sit in the cheap seats at Hillary’s home that night, including an as-yet-unnamed Fox News plant. Not a single news outlet reported on the dinner, which was obviously a campaign event gearing up for Hillary’s inevitable 2020 run.

The media has maintained absolute radio silence about the dinner. Good little doggies! They’ve all been spared from having Hillary cut the brake lines in their cars.

But, the very next morning after Hillary’s $50,000 a plate fundraiser, she launched an attack on the one Democrat she views as a genuine threat to her winning the Democrat primary: Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI).

Hillary didn’t name Gabbard by name, but everyone knew who she was talking about. Hillary claimed that one candidate was being “groomed by the Russians” to run third party and help Trump win in 2020.

Just as a heads up, the verb “groomed” which Hillary used very deliberately is about to take on a super-creepy connotation.

When Hillary first accused Tulsi of being groomed by the Russians, I pooh-poohed it like everyone else on the right. Sad, pathetic, two-time loser Hillary Clinton must be wearing her living-room curtains around the yard and drunkenly swearing at the sky about Russians under everyone’s bed again.

When I first set out to write this article, I figured it would be another fun piece where I deconstruct and expose another one of Hillary Clinton’s lies. I’d meticulously research it and prove her wrong, once again.

I thought, “All right, you evil old battle-axe. I’ll play along. Let me just pull on this little string of information that you dangled out there and…

HOLY BUCKETS!! Tulsi Gabbard grew up in a Soviet/Russian-spawned sex cult and everything about her origin story is a lie!

I did not see that coming.

Here are the facts that have been unearthed so far. First, Tulsi Gabbard is not a Hindu and she does not belong to an offshoot of the pacifist Hare Krishnas, as her mythical campaign origin story claims. She belongs to an alleged cult in Hawaii called the ‘Science of Identity.’ The Science of Identity sounds pretty much like all of the weird sex cults that communist Soviet agitators spawned in America in the 1960s and ‘70s during the Cold War:

It was founded by a dude from a family of communist agitators who declared himself to be a spiritual guru after taking a single trip to India (where he may have received his instructions from his Soviet handlers).

The cult ostracizes family members who leave; they seek to destroy traditional American values like the Constitution, barbecued ribs and capitalism; the wives all receive one-on-one “spiritual guidance” from the guru while their husbands watch from the Shame Closet; extreme brainwashing of the children; and so on.

Pick any Russian/Soviet sex cult from the ‘60s and ‘70s and it sounds basically the same as the Science of Identity, from the Manson Family to the Weather Underground to the hippie free-love communes to the Shri Rajneeshis in Oregon. They all had the trappings of Eastern mysticism and Hinduism, and they were all sponsored and fomented by the Russians of the former Soviet Union to sow division inside the United States.

Before Tulsi Gabbard’s aunt was ostracized from the Gabbard family for not believing in the cult, she used to visit them in Hawaii. She says it started to get weird, and not just because they had become militant vegetarians.

Tulsi’s aunt says every wall inside the house was adorned with a picture of the cult leader, Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa. There was a shrine to this dude in every room of the house. Her nieces and nephews were bowing and worshipping pictures of Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa. “It was bizarre,” said Tulsi’s aunt.

Members who have escaped and deprogrammed describe the early days of the cult, when Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa would hold gatherings on the beach. They say the cult leader would show up six hours late and give rambling speeches, in which he would blame all of America’s social ills on eating red meat, “faggots,” and women, who he would only refer to as “c**ts.”

In Tulsi Gabbard’s mythical origin story, it sounds as if her father is a conservative Christian who founded an organization in favor of traditional one-man, one-woman marriage. This is a lie. The secretive Science of Identity cult just really, really hates gay people. There’s nothing even vaguely “Christian” about how they view gay people or how gays should be treated.

In fact, cult escapees say Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa used to gather small children from the cult around him and share excruciatingly detailed descriptions of anal sex, before wrapping garlands of flowers around the children’s heads.

In a video that Tulsi Gabbard’s campaign hasn’t managed to scrub from YouTube yet, Tulsi pledges her love, devotion, allegiance and religious fealty to the guy who started the cult, Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa. Here’s the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uJLsMm83a4

She looks like she really means it, doesn’t she? That was in 2015, after she had already been elected to Congress.

So, who is Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa?

He’s a guy named Chris Butler, a blond-haired, blue-eyed, surfer dude from Hawaii. The secretive cult leader is believed to have hundreds of followers in New Zealand, the Philippines and Hawaii, his main stomping grounds. Cult leaders always have a getaway plan in case the feds come after them.

He’s believed to be a multimillionaire thanks to cult followers giving him all their money. Butler is also believed to be linked to a movie production company in Hawaii called Ti Leaf Productions (no website available), which many Hawaiian critics of the cult say is just a front for the Science of Identity.

Cult survivors have told reporters that Butler typically lives in a beachside hut with around two dozen young, attractive women from the cult. When he grows tired of any of them, he arranges a marriage for them to a lucky young man in the cult. Several of Butler’s young female acolytes over the years have told reporters that they are “willing to kill” for Chris Butler. You know, like that charming Manson Family!

The Science of Identity runs a boarding school in the Philippines where the children are ferreted away for four years of “spiritual training.” Children are only allowed to see their parents one time during that four-year period, which is usually from age 12 to 16. Cult survivor Ian Koviak described his time at Science of Identity school to New York Magazine. The daily routine involves a morning shower with a cold bucket of water, several hours of chanting, and watching videos of gay bikers sodomizing each other and then dying of AIDS at the end of the movie. The cult survivor also described the school as four years of “light sexual abuse… people groping you at night.”

Tulsi Gabbard’s campaign website used to mention that she spent several years in the Philippines during her youth, but that was removed last May, after information about Chris Butler’s school started to come out. It’s also noteworthy that Tulsi Gabbard’s first husband was the nephew of the man who runs Chris Butler’s Science of Identity boarding school in the Philippines.

Tulsi’s second and current husband is also a member of Butler’s allegedly Soviet-spawned cult. A reporter should (but won’t) ask Tulsi Gabbard whether one or both of her marriages were arranged by Chris Butler.

As for the Butler family in Hawaii, former FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover probably had a very thick file on them. The Butlers that raised young Chris to be Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa were card-carrying communists and Soviet apologists. They used to hold picket signs outside the airport in Hawaii, where they would spit on US soldiers returning from Vietnam. Classy.

Young Chris appears to have been groomed, possibly by the Soviets, to become Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa and he went on to spiritually groom Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard. As you saw in the video, she refers to him by the highest possible title of honor in Hinduism, her “Gurudeva” (spiritual master).

If you thought Barack Obama was dishonest about his ties to the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, you should see how Tulsi Gabbard’s campaign treats reporters who ask about her religion! At any mention of Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa, the Science of Identity, Chris Butler, or that mystery gap in Tulsi’s past when she went to the Philippines, the Gabbard campaign immediately hits the Bigotry Panic Button and calls the reporter a “Hinduphobe.”

You may have noticed that some old-school, not-insane-enough-for-the-modern-Democrat Party Democrats all refer to Tulsi Gabbard as “Creepy Tulsi” on social media. This is why. All this information is sort of an open secret among Democrats. They’re just too afraid of the woke SJWs who will viciously attack them as bigoted racists if they mention any of this out loud.

We’ve learned three important things from this investigation. First, there is a special place in heaven reserved for the guy who invented cut-and-paste. (Seriously, you try typing Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa 50 times.)

Second, everything we thought we knew about Tulsi Gabbard, including her opposition to American troops in Syria, is a carefully crafted campaign lie. (We all missed the fact that Gabbard called for a massive US ground invasion of Syria in 2018, before switching to the more popular Trump position of bringing the troops home.)

And third, Hillary is definitely running in 2020.