Media outlets are rushing to say that President Trump has accused Joe Biden “without evidence” of abusing the office of the Vice President to get a Ukrainian prosecutor fired. Just so there’s no confusion about it, here are the exact words spoken by then-Vice President Joe Biden at the Council of Foreign Relations as he detailed his actions:
“I said I’m tellin’ you, you’re not getting’ that billion dollars. I said you’re not gettin’ the billion. I’m gonna be leaving here in six hours. If the prosecutor is not fired, you’re not gettin’ the money. Well, son of a bitch! He got fired.”
Joe Biden abused his power as Vice President under Obama, by threatening to withhold foreign aid money unless the Ukrainian president fired that country’s equivalent of the US Attorney General. Ukraine’s top prosecutor was investigating the shady Biden family deal in the Ukraine that allowed Joe Biden’s son to cash in on a huge, corrupt windfall deal.
So now, because President Trump has not only accused Biden of this corrupt, despicable, and public trust-destroying act, but has also followed through by calling the new president of Ukraine and asking him to reopen the investigation… NOW we can finally impeach Trump!
It’s a bombshell! It’s the beginning of the end of the Trump presidency! The walls are closing in!
Of course, we all know what’s really happening here. The elites are perfectly fine with Joe Biden’s actions. They think that if public office can’t be used to amass personal wealth for your family, then what’s the point? Joe Biden didn’t do anything that other elites wouldn’t have done if they had been in the same position. Just ask anyone at the Clinton Foundation.
But because Joe Biden – and Barack the Anointed One by extension – could actually be in serious trouble over these very real financial crimes, the elites are panicking, and the media is claiming there is “no evidence” to back up Trump’s claims. Oh, and Trump MUST be impeached NOW.
If you know anything at all about Hunter Biden, he probably doesn’t strike you as a guy who could waltz into China and the Ukraine and suddenly become a billionaire on his own, without his powerful dad engaging in some pay-to-play threats.
The Venn diagram of people who can waltz into China and Ukraine and a make a billion dollars overnight doesn’t have a lot of overlap with people who disappear for days at a time and leave a crack pipe in their returned rental car.
But we’re supposed to believe that the wildly unimpressive son of Joe Biden amassed a huge fortune in Ukraine and China, without help from his dad who happened to be the Vice President of the United States at the time. Uh huh.
It seems like it was only yesterday when Hunter Biden returned his rental car in Arizona with his driver’s license, his personal iPhone, a Secret Service business card and a crack pipe in the passenger seat. Actually, it wasn’t that recent. Hunter Biden returned his rental car in Arizona just days before the 2016 election. It only feels like a recent event because the public didn’t find out about it until May of this year.
If the news had been announced days before the election, the Orange Bad Man who causes Democrat nightmares might have used it as a talking point in his campaign rallies.
Hunter Biden rented a car in Los Angeles and then vanished for several days. The car was returned to a rental agency in Sedona, Arizona, where employees found Hunter Biden’s personal effects and a crack pipe. They called police. The cops tried to contact Hunter to see if he wanted his… you know… his iPhone, driver’s license and crack pipe back.
But when they dialed the number left in the car, they reached a man claiming to be ‘Joseph McGee.’ This McGee character told the cops that they had returned the car for “their friend” who was feeling sick.
There was no ‘Joseph McGee’ listed at that phone number, however. Instead, the number is registered to a “world-renowned Colon Hydro-therapist named Puma St. Angel.”
All right, I have to stop right there every time I talk about Puma St. Angel. I know what you’re thinking. What you’re thinking is, “Arizona prostitutes are now forced to rebrand themselves with exotic services in order to compete with all of the cheaper illegal alien prostitutes flooding across the southern border.” But in this case, you are wrong, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
That’s because Puma St. Angel really is a “world-renowned Colon Hydro-therapist.” Any claims that Hunter Biden was visiting a prostitute in Arizona are completely false. He was visiting Puma St. Angel, who does hippie campfire dancing with clients at her Arizona hippie clinic, and then they pay her money to stick things up their butts. It’s totally different from prostitution.
And besides that, we shouldn’t be all “judgmental” about what Hunter Biden chooses to do with his free time when he ditches his Secret Service detail for several days in a row.
In a promotional video for her “services” Puma St. Angel shows off her hippie campfire dancing while showing off her hairy armpits; Puma St. Angel blowing a wacky 12-foot-long hippie horn; Puma St. Angel showing off the implements she will use on your bum in her world-renowned treatments; and testimonials from her REALLY embarrassed customers describing what Puma St. Angel did them in the teepee.
I can’t wait for the documentary film titled, “The Adventures of Hunter Biden, Financial Wizard” to come out. It’s going to be Oscar-worthy material.
And by the way, Hunter Biden was never charged with possession of a crack pipe in his rental vehicle for some reason. I’m not suggesting that anything improper happened there, or that his father the Vice President of the United States somehow intervened on Hunter’s behalf. I wouldn’t want MSNBC to accuse me of making claims about the Biden family “without evidence.”