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Greatest President Ever Is About to Fix Your Toilet

admin January 3, 2020 News Comments Off on Greatest President Ever Is About to Fix Your Toilet

At this point in time, President Donald J. Trump could put his feet up and call it a day if he wanted to – and he would still go down in history as one of the greatest presidents in American history. He fixed the economy, reset our vampire trade policies with China, forced a rewrite of NAFTA to benefit America, replaced 25% of appellate court judges with constitutional champions, and taught us all how to laugh again with his relentlessly funny Twitter feed. He even lured Kim Jong Un to the negotiating table, which none of us thought was really possible. That’s a pretty good track record and I know I’m leaving a lot of things off the list.

But Trump isn’t going to rest. America is way better than it was just a few years ago, but there are many areas of life that are still not “Great Again.” So, President Trump is going to come over to your house and fix your toilet.

I was 50/50 on whether to support a giant statue of President Trump. But if he fixes the catastrophe known as low-efficiency toilets, I’m all in. Make the Trump statue a Colossus that spans the Mississippi.

Those of us who are old enough to remember as far back as the 1970s or ‘80s will tell all of the young’uns that they just don’t make household appliances like they used to. Nothing works like it used to. And household appliances definitely do not work as well as they did in my youth. For example, my mother still has the same dishwasher in her kitchen that she bought when I was a baby. It still works. In fact, her dishwasher works better than any dishwasher I’ve encountered in adulthood; it never breaks down, it actually cleans the dishes and it was made in America.

You have to travel abroad and visit any other modern country (outside of Europe) to realize just how cruddy our household appliances have all become in the name of saving the planet from environmental catastrophe. Energy efficient washing machines, dishwashers and showers don’t actually heat water up enough to kill bacteria, thanks to our energy efficient hot water heaters having a default setting that doesn’t quite allow the water to get hot enough to do its job. We’ve been regulated into a Third World country.

And then there’s the bane of my existence: The low efficiency toilet.

Over the two-week Christmas and New Year’s holiday period in 2019, with lots of friends and family over to visit for meals and celebrations, I spent 10 of those days with a plunger in hand, cursing the name of Al Gore. Low efficiency toilets do not put me in a holiday spirit. In fact, at this point, low efficiency toilets put me in a bit of a murderous spirit.

The Department of Energy even brags about how it turns our lives into misery by regulating our appliances to the point where dishwashers don’t wash dishes, clothes washers don’t clean clothes, and toilets don’t flush on one or two or seventeen attempts.

From the Department of Energy website:

“DOE’s minimum efficiency standards significantly reduce U.S. energy demand, lower emissions of greenhouse gases and other pollutants, and save consumers billions of dollars every year, without lessening the vital services provided by these products. In addition, DOE implements laws designed to limit the water consumption of several plumbing products.”

There are more than 60 categories of household appliances that the Department of Energy has regulated into expensive, nearly unusable objects that break down every few weeks, so that we can save the planet from global warming.

Who voted for household appliances that are terrible and that don’t work? Oh, right: Nobody. This was just another example of the unelected bureaucrats in the regulatory state imposing its will on the people. You have to participate in their weird weather religion, whether you believe in the environmental catastrophe they think they’re staving off or not.

President Trump made heads explode the other day when he announced that the Department of Energy is looking very, very closely at water rules and household appliances. He knows that Americans are frustrated by our dribbling showers and faucets, our dishwashers that require you to hand-wash the dishes before running the dishwasher, and our toilets that don’t actually function as toilets. That’s right: President Trump is about to fix your toilet. Hallelujah!


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