With 20 Democrat candidates on the stage for round one of the 2020 primary, you’d think that at least one of them would have been smart enough to figure out how Donald Trump won in 2016.

Trump slaughtered a field of 14 solid conservative candidates, plus Jeb! and Marco Rubio, by promising to do things the American people want a president to do. Create jobs. Have our own government treat us better than it treats foreigners. Take a blowtorch to the regulations that strangle small businesses in the cradle.

And most of all, cut off the immigration spigot. We have too many legal and illegal immigrants. Every poll shows that a majority of Americans (even Democrats) want less immigration overall, because the lack of rigorous assimilation is tearing our country apart.

But, no! None of the Democrats were smart enough to figure that out. Every single one of them held their hand up and pledged to throw open our borders while forcing American workers to pay for health insurance for everyone that waltzes in. Winning hearts and minds!

If just one of them had pledged to make a paltry effort to reduce immigration levels, that candidate would probably be the runaway frontrunner in the Democrat primary right now. Well, maybe not De Blasio. But if one of the other ones had pledged it…

The debates even had the perfect sob story set-up ahead of time. An obviously not-very-bright foreign invader tried to swim across the Rio Grande with his toddler daughter on his back and killed himself and his child in the process. The guy and his wife quit their jobs in El Salvador and came to the US border in hopes of sneaking in, claiming asylum and then collecting welfare checks instead of going through the boring process of working for a living. They weren’t being persecuted.

They quit their jobs, left their home and dragged their child across several countries to try to get here and leech off our system. They were denied initial entry to the US, but the Mexican government gave them a one-year work visa, so they could stay in that country while waiting for their totally fake asylum claim to be processed.

The father decided, “Work?! Eff that, muchachos!” (I learned Spanish from Beto O’Rourke) and proceeded to try to swim across the Rio Grande with his child on his back.

Any one of the Democrats on the debate stage could have swept the 2020 field if they had said, “You know what? Our refugee policies are insane. You can’t come here just because you’re poor. Real refugees face actual persecution for political or religious beliefs in their home countries. The system is broken and I’m gonna fix it. That way, we won’t have any more people like the swimmer guy trying to break into our country.”

According to the latest Gallup polling, 31% of Americans identify as Democrats, 24% identify as Republicans and 42% identify as independents. I know it’s Gallup, but let’s pretend those numbers are accurate. In every poll when the American people are asked, “Should we have more immigration or less?” the results show that roughly 70% of Americans want LESS. We’re being bled dry by immigration.

We had 100,000 illegal aliens (that we know of) sneak into the United States in April of 2019. At the same time, we granted visas to 100,000 legal immigrants. That’s a total of 200,000 foreign people entering America in April. Stay with me, liberals – the math isn’t that hard.

In the entirety of the United States, we build an average of approximately 1,200 new housing units (homes and apartments) every month. We built 1,281 in April, when we allowed 200,000 new people in. Here’s the math question for every person running for president:

If America takes in 200,000 new people every month, but only builds 1,200 new homes every month, will everyone else’s housing prices go UP or DOWN?

Take your time. Play the Jeopardy theme music if you need some inspiration.

This is why curbing immigration is actually a bipartisan issue with widespread support in America. The country has fundamentally changed since the time when George W. Bush suddenly started inviting 100,000 legal immigrants into America every single month. Rents have doubled in rural areas since the pre-invasion years and quadrupled in urban areas. That’s not due to normal inflation; it’s due to taking in 10 to 20 times as many people as you have housing units for.

And in yet another story of the federal government showing special preferences to illegal aliens over Americans, we have to talk about the alligator in the Rio Grande River. Apparently, there’s a 6-footer in one section of the Rio Grande, so state and federal officials are talking about gator-napping him and moving him somewhere else. That way illegal aliens can swim across with less risk of getting chomped.

I know what you’re thinking, so just let me state this for the record: I didn’t do it. I’ve talked many times about my idea to flood the Rio Grande with hungry alligators as a cheaper alternative to building the wall, but I had absolutely nothing to do with this particular alligator.

Normally, I find animal rights people to be a bunch of wackos, but I suddenly find myself strongly in favor of alligator rights. Leave the poor alligator alone, you stupid feds! In fact, he’s lonely. The poor guy is all by himself out there. If America was a moral and just nation, we would put 40 to 50 friends for the lonely gator in the Rio Grande for every one-mile stretch of water. Let’s go, federal government! Prove to us all that you are not racist against alligators!

Meanwhile, you had your chance, 2020 Democrats. Any one of you could have been the surprise hit of the summer if you had pledged to slow down immigration rates. Who knows, maybe you would have even had a shot at beating Donald Trump. But every single one of you raised your hands and stated that foreign invaders are more important to you than the voters.

Too late now, suckers!