Wow, that was fast! The Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee have issued a report titled, “Constitutional Grounds for Presidential Impeachment.” It is an unusual document for several reasons, the first of which being that zero Republicans were allowed to participate in drafting the document, unlike every previous impeachment effort in history which was a bipartisan effort.

The incredible speed in which the document was slapped together is also remarkable. And perhaps the most amazing thing of all is the fact that Judiciary Committee Democrats claim within the pages of the document to have magical powers.

It was only Friday when Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) told the world that committee Democrats would subsequently “spend the weekend” drafting their report on impeachment. I figured it would be Monday or Tuesday at the earliest before we finally saw their report, but to my surprise, it landed on the internet at approximately 12:30 p.m. on Saturday. That was really fast, considering the size of the report.

The Judiciary Democrats’ impeachment report clocks in at a hefty 55 pages, typed, single-spaced, Chicago style, with 275 footnotes. Here is the report so you can read it for yourself.

And we’re supposed to believe that they cranked it out before lunchtime on a Saturday morning. Which tells us that the report was actually written over a period of days or weeks prior to this past weekend. Impeachment was already a foregone conclusion, and now they are finally starting to roll out the documents that they wrote some time ago for us to see.

I made it to the second sentence of the Introduction to the report before spotting the first lie: “He [the president] is vested with powers so great that they frightened the Framers of our Constitution; in exchange, he swears an oath to faithfully execute the laws that hold those powers in check.”

The boldface section of that sentence is legal nonsense and a bald-faced lie from the Judiciary Democrats (or whoever spent the past several weeks writing the report that they claim to have written on Saturday morning). If you read the sentence carefully, you’ll notice that no president ever takes any such oath.

But most remarkable of all is a paragraph on Page 6 of the report – the paragraph that begins with the section heading, “Fourth.”

“When the House probes a President’s state of mind, its mandate is to find the facts. That means evaluating the President’s account of his motives to see if it rings true.”

It’s been a while since I’ve read the Constitution from cover to cover. I’ve been racking my own brain on this, but I can’t seem to remember the portion where the House of Representatives is supposed to “probe a President’s state of mind.”

The report continues, “The question is not whether the President’s conduct could have resulted from permissible motives. It is whether the President’s real reasons, the ones in his mind at the time, were legitimate.”

I don’t think there is a single legal document that’s been written in America since the Salem Witch Trials in the 1690s that dealt so directly with witchcraft. But instead of the accused having to defend themselves against charges of being a witch, the prosecutors on the Judiciary Committee are using witchcraft to convict President Trump. The reasons “in his mind at the time?”

How exactly is Rep. Jerrold Nadler reading President Trump’s mind? Historically, we don’t really allow mind-reading as a form of evidence in the American court system.

If Congress has stumbled upon actual evidence of wrongdoing by President Trump, why not use that? See, when you have evidence in an investigation, you don’t have to resort to mind-reading, which tends to be incredibly subjective.

As an example, I will read House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler’s mind right now:

He’s thinking about DONUTS and wishing that he was eight inches taller!

You might think that was unfair and mean-spirited on my part, and you’d be right. Which is my entire point. There is a legal process that has been completely ignored by the Democrats in their rush to impeachment. So far, we’ve had no actual witnesses of a crime and no evidence of a crime. Instead, we have the magical power of mind-reading, while the mind-readers in question are suffering from a chronic case of Trump Derangement Syndrome. “Trump may not have done anything illegal, but we know he was THINKING it!”